A New Me....lets start with the problems

You know, some of the good part of blog theory was that blogs would be like diaries that the world could read. They would be spontaneous, whatever pops into your mind, just as a diary would be.

I like the idea that I can say whatever I want, it kind of thrills me. No one can stop me, and I quite possibly won't offend anyone.
So I suppose I should give my reason for wanting to blog. I feel like there is no me time anymore. I am a 24 year old who works full time, 12 hour shifts in the ER, I own a home that I probably couldn't afford but bought anyway, getting married six months today and planning like crazy.

First issue- the house!!
So when I began looking for a house I was looking in the 200,000 range. I thought that was still more than I should buy, but it was a good baseline. When I began looking for houses (and it had to be in Hamilton/Stoney Creek) I realized that I would never in my life live in some of those houses. Do people just not care what their house looks like? Are people really okay with selling houses that have a crack fully along the whole ceiling? Or what about that water dripping from the ceiling???? DO THEY THINK THAT IS OKAY!!! So anyhow, I found the perfect house (not exactly what many would call a starter home), and I went ahead and spent 262,000. Only a mere 62,000 more than I wanted right?? Simple as that. WRONG! Now I am a 24 year old drowning in bills that I can barely pay, putting my fiance through school, paying off a stupid-ass car loan (we will get to that later), and still trying to have fun (overrated right?).

Next issue- the Wedding
So here we are, February 26th 2011, a mere 6 months away from what everyone says will be the best day of my life. Well unfortunately what no one tells you is that before you get to the best day of your life, you also have to live the worst year of your life. Thanks for that everyone.
On September 6th 2010 I became the happiest girl in the world- for a week. My fiance Andy proposed to me during the most fantastic photo shoot of my life. I became a "soon-to-be-wife". I love that title- wife. It just has a ring to it. No pun intended.  So right off the bat we began planning, seemed like a piece of cake! I dont know why all those other brides were complaining, planning is simple. Everything just kept falling into place. But my best friend kept warning me- problems will arise, dont worry, you will get through it.  So the first thing I managed to book was photography. Andy and I decided to go with the photographer and videographer who did our engagement photos. The video they did was incredible, we absolutely wanted that same man to capture the best day of our life. Yes it was far more expensive than we ever dreamed of paying, but we kept telling ourselves it was an investment. We met again with the couple who was doing our photography to talk about all that we hoped for on our wedding day.  After some conversation and a couple beers later, some things were said that shouldnt have been said on their part. Andy and I felt like goofs. How could we go on with these people when we already werent happy. So like the well-spoken individual that I am, I sent an e-mail. In that email, out came every emotion I was feeling at that particular moment, whether it had anything to do with them or not. At the time it seemed well written and honest. Until I read it to my mother. And then to my fiance. Then I felt like it was far more harsh than I ever wanted to sound. Long story short, they dropped us like a sack of hot potatoes. Wedding problem #1. Oh well, I will overcome it, right?
Problems just kept flying at us faster than we could dodge them. Now it seems that Andy and I cannot get along to save our lives. I yell for every little thing. I TURNED INTO A MONSTER!!!!!! I took a step back and thought, did I always hate him this much?? How on earth can we get married when we can't even sleep in the same room?? So then one morning I asked very politely, can you please take the dog out while I do some laundry? Well, I finished my laundry, came upstairs and the dog was still in her crate. Any normal human being may have been mad....maybe even would have yelled. But me? No, not me, I say its over and Im moving out. I pack my things and go straight to my parents who live around the corner (keep posted, that issue will come later). Two days later I leave for Las Vegas. I had a wonderful time in Vegas with 8 of my girl friends. We shopped til we dropped and drank like fish. I even managed to win $500 playing poker. But my heart wasnt in this trip. I felt sick constantly wondering what I had done at home. How could I leave the one person who loves me more than anyone? My love and appreciation grew fast and strong in the four days that I was away. When I got home I went straight back to our house and we had two of the most wonderful days possible (bringing us to today). Maybe that is all it took, who knows, only time can tell. All that I know is that we ARE compatible, we are supposed to be together, and we will get married in six months. He is the love of my life. I could never live without him. We will sort through all of the wedding problems as a team, and we will be stronger for it.


So there you have it. And I did it, I wrote my first blog. Whether successful or unsuccessful, it is done. Honesty isn't so hard. I like typing to a blank screen, it is safe and it allows me to verbalize things without even opening my mouth. Ive addressed my issues, I promise we will be more positive next time around. Just thought you should get to know me a bit...